Over the last few weeks, we've noticed something rather peculiar about some of our favorite male authors. Their hair. Be it on face or head, it seems to have the curious habit of expanding as they progressed through life. As a matter of fact, the amount of hair sported appears directly proportional to the number of years achieved. The Law of Maximizing Manes.
This is quite contrary to the stereotypical shiny pate we've come to expect for men of a certain age. That's not to say there weren't plenty of candidates for Rogaine running around in the 19th-century, but these authors, as a whole, certainly possess more than the average allotment of stylish strands.
To illustrate our theory, we've chosen to highlight several of these veritable writers in various stages of coif-keeping...
Hard to believe someone as hot as Hawthorne might ever have a bad hair day.
Nat's expansion was of the horizontal variety. Luckily, this prescient
nod to Bozo was only a temporary aberration from an otherwise perfect record.
It would seem his hair was migratory in nature as it swelled and relocated southward over the years.
Though the reason behind Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's choice of beard-wearing was extremely tragic, we feel he carries his snowy look with dignity and aplomb. And yes, we know that was an unfairly tantalizing bit of information for the curious among you, so read up on the death of Frances (Fanny) Appleton - but only if you'd like to feel really, really sad now.
Henry David Thoreau went through several evolutionary stages with his hair, the complicated and swirly top-knot iteration being our favorite. Then there was his famed "neck rug" about which Louisa May Alcott declared, [Thoreau's facial hair] "will most assuredly deflect amorous advances to preserve the man's virtue in perpetuity". Purely coincidental we're sure, but perhaps it's worth noting that Henry never married.
Mark Twain always kept a classy, yet carefree looking 'do and we're particularly impressed with the ethereal fluff-factor in the later photo. Even his eyebrows display a charming likeness to cotton balls jauntily perched upon his forehead.
Another iconic beard, this one belonging to Walt Whitman. Unlike Hawthorne, Whitman's later-life hair expansion was multi-directional and encompassed nearly his entire head. An object of fascination to many, references to the beard show up regularly in other works of literature. In Allen Ginsberg's poem "A Supermarket in California", he asks "Where are we going, Walt Whitman?...Which way does your beard point tonight?" Louisa, on the other hand, would not have been impressed.
But the award for best expansion of facial hair surely goes to William Gilmore Simms. Though not the most famous 19th-century author, (especially given the Southerner's pro-slavery leanings) we can't help being delighted with these photos of him. This...tuft, for lack of a better word, is distinguished in the extreme for both its length and flatish, fan-like quality. We can't even begin to imagine how this didn't end up in most of his food. Which of course would be very handy if you prefer to wick soup and drink directly into your mouth rather than fiddle with all that pesky flatware.
If you'd like to know more about any of these fine fellows besides what they looked like, you could do a lot worse than checking out Rob Velella's American Literary Blog. A unique, independent blog about 19th-century literature, authors, poetry and loads of other cool stuff, including a schedule of Rob's appearances as Poe, Hawthorne and Longfellow.
And when you're done reading that, book a literary tour with Gatepost for a thoroughly entertaining & educational look at Concord's intriguing authors!
